Welcome to the 8th Reich.

I am absolutely obsessed with the Westboro Baptist Church and its fantastic fuckery. I was in grade twelve when I was first introduced to their cyclone of hate. For those of you unaware of the douchebaggerish shit these fundamentalist assholes produce, let me give you a brief explanation. The Westboro Baptist [...]

Dear Penthouse,

I celebrate this woman’s entire catalogue, everything this gem of human being has done transcends beauty, she could spit on my grandmother and I would tell my G-Ma to apologize for upsetting Ms. Ryder. Every guy has their ‘White Bronco,” an elusive angel of a woman who they will subconsciously chase to the end [...]

Go ahead, buy a cup. Spend seven dollars on a coffee that is served to you by hipster perverts that wear horned rimmed glasses with no lenses. Better get a scone too, that’ll put the cost up to an even ten, it’ll also offset the lack of calories from that decaf, no-fat, specialty coffee [...]

If Conservative America is a digestive system, then Bill O’Reilly is the colon, collecting the chili dog lies and Big Mac deceptions that the Republican Party slams down our throats. These lies and deceptions sit festering in this old, overworked colon, and are eventually expelled via the King Douche himself, Bill O’Reilly. Leaving my socialist [...]

There are four (sort of five) women on this planet, all wonderful, unique human beings, for whom I would drop everything (including my pants) and run away with. Seriously, I would devote my entire life to these four wonderful women, I’d worship the ground you walked on, I’d fluff your pillow, and I’d hang [...]

The results from Saskatchewan vs. the Northwest Territories are in: Northwest Territories by a landslide, Canada’s north cripples Canada’s breadbasket and advances to round two. The next match-up in round one pits Canada’s fossil fuel giant Alberta, against some ice and shit, formed to create Nunavut. Vote by commenting.

Alberta

This province is so loaded with [...]

Canada… what the fuck?
Over the next couple of weeks I intend to answer the question that has plagued Canadians for over one hundred years, what province (or territory) is the best? I know there are inherent flaws in my scientific study, namely, the fact that the entire study relies on the subjective opinions of the [...]

Coming from the exotic state of Hawaii, this surfer boy has changed the music scene for all time. Bringing his unique style (just him and an acoustic) and delivering some of the most devastating lyrics of our generation, it is no wonder why jocks and beasies alike have joined forces to provide one of the [...]

A monthly feature for my posts will be People Who Luke Thinks Are Unfairly Disliked. These individuals will range from celebrities to musicians to political leaders. Leading things off is the woman everyone loves to hate: Rosie O’Donnell.

Spawned from the depths of Candy Mountain is Rosie O’Donnell, a woman who has evolved from a sloth-like [...]

I must preface this post by stating that I absolutely love hipster girls, this love however is strictly superficial, something about leggings and badangly shit draped over their lean necks gives me the fuzzies. That being said, I loathe this culture like Dubya loathes that eyesore of a mosque near his ranch in Texas. Everything [...]