I’ve been watching the Olympics. Women’s gymnastics ruptured my loins, Usain Bolt “blew my mind and the word’s” and tonight I have watched the Gold Medal volleyball and ping pong matches and am currently watching Spain try and beat America in basketball much like a stick beats the drum. I was initially hoping to write [...]

Alright men,
How many of you are with me when I say a drunken urination, outdoors, without hands and or regard for smaller and therefore worthless life forms is a proud proud moment.

That feeling when the wind is at your back, your pants are at your ankles and your hands are resting on your hips like [...]

“Time to suck Today’s dick” – Pineapple Express

I very well might repeat that line every morning in the mirror for the rest of my life. I am on my last ounce of strength right now, I’m in Montreal for absolutely no good reason and have crippled myself with my exploits over the past week or [...]

Fly boys crack me up, and I love airport bars, there is truly nothing better to combat the atmosphere of this awkward and sterile vestibule in between real life than alcohol, and airports would suck bad without it. I am sitting at my gate in the Philadelphia airport right now. It is nine at night [...]

Devotees will recognize this post from my first stint on Luke’s now neglected and soon to be resentful baby thingsifuckinghate.wordpress.com
I know it’s cheap and lazy to recycle material but I have added a great picture not included in the original. As for any newcomers you can now enjoy my tirade against Flav restored here in [...]

92 days, 2208, 132480 minutes until Halloween.
Ok, it is time to get it right you posers. Today I saw a dead leaf on the sidewalk and I knew the time would soon be upon us again, Hallo-fucking-ween. And I swear on all that is holy that if I see one more group of people in [...]

My name is Ed and I am a really lazy bastard who still smells pretty good. I think we can all be thankful that my unparalleled beer swilling sloth is not reflected in my hygiene, or you very well would have come know me as the 5th horseman of the apocalypse by now.
Looking approachable might [...]