January 30, 2009
My brother and I had so many adventures as lil ones in the bathtub. It would generally involve us beating the shit out of each other, with the occasonial floater emerging. My story for the day comes all the way from the state of Tennessee, my father had been transfered there and our little Canadian [...]
January 29, 2009
October 31st 1988
I can only describe the events that occured on Halloween in the year 1988 based on my parents recollection, but I can assure you that this is no lie. It was a bitterly cold night in Calgary, and as usual I was parading my eighteen month old booty around the house, extra large [...]
January 27, 2009
My high school was a quaint institution located in between two corn fields and a golf course. Being a private school kid caused me to learn a few things about the privileged in our society: that every child in the upper-middle class is a spoiled little shit. I would go to chapel every single day [...]
January 26, 2009
Welcome to the 8th Reich.
I am absolutely obsessed with the Westboro Baptist Church and its fantastic fuckery. I was in grade twelve when I was first introduced to their cyclone of hate. For those of you unaware of the douchebaggerish shit these fundamentalist assholes produce, let me give you a brief explanation. The Westboro Baptist [...]
Alright dOOds, I’ve decided to do it… over the next one hundred days I’m going to countdown the one hundred best stories that have ever happened to me. We’ll start at the 100th best story and countdown to number one. One a day for 100 days. I apologize in advance…
May God have mercy on my [...]
January 25, 2009
The first internet search I ever made was in 1995, our family was fast to get the Internet because my mom was quick on her hooves learning the shit, being a library technician and all. “The Internet” she called it, “Luke, you’re not going to believe this shit, you type in altavista.com and then type [...]
January 24, 2009
Nothing makes me more wet than a well timed, relatively obscure, pop-culture reference. Not only does it display one’s wit, but also shows an individual’s ability to sift through thousands of hours of television to deliver the perfect comment. Seriously ladies (or guys if your name is Ethan Kath) if you want the key to [...]
January 22, 2009
There are few outlets that allow people to so freely express the fact they are complete tools better than Facebook. With the exception of maybe Youtube where it appears 99% of the world’s homophobes lurk – typing with one hand as they quietly jack off to Chris Crocker videos – nothing, in the history of [...]
January 21, 2009
I’ve never seen her not wearing this outfit…
Over the past few years, the majority of winners of the Nobel Peace Prize have not been household names, and in reality, that makes a lot of sense. The criteria to win a prize of that standard are not inherent in the human condition, qualities such as benevolence, [...]
January 20, 2009
Dear Penthouse,
I celebrate this woman’s entire catalogue, everything this gem of human being has done transcends beauty, she could spit on my grandmother and I would tell my G-Ma to apologize for upsetting Ms. Ryder. Every guy has their ‘White Bronco,” an elusive angel of a woman who they will subconsciously chase to the end [...]
